When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy.
Rumi

rambling on Oprah

Not that I have anything against Oprah, but sometime she can be so ….i don’t know, unaware? is that the word I want? Anyway, Last night was a rerun of a show with the author of Beautiful boy and his son. During the interview the son said more than once that he had been ashamed of his behavior and his addiction. He was ashamed of many of the things he did during the time he was so deep into the drugs and alcohol. He knew that he was hurting his family but the shame and the addiction were so strong that he couldn’t stop.
So, then O asks him, If you knew you were hurting the people that loved you, why did you keep doing it? I am thinking really? O, did you not notice that one, he is young man still hurting. Two, he is an addict. Three, he was very deep in shame and Four, he is an ADDICT. I do not know the reason behind all the shame and his need to numb himself but, i do know that there is no easy way out.
Something that you would think she would understand. Hey, O, if you know that the food you consume causes you to gain weight and make you feel bad, why don’t you just control the intake.
Seriously, if it was that simple-"Hey, this is making me and everyone around me feel like shit-I guess I will just stop drinking, snorting coke, overeating, gambling, and obsessing"-we wouldn't need all the rehab centers and twelve step programs.
It was really amazing that she asked such questions.
Anyway, enough rambling about something I have no control over.

I understand that Oprah may have just made a mistake, but i felt really sad for the young man. He already was feeling so guilty and ashamed, i didn't see the need to make him feel worse. I am sure that was not the intention.

inspire me thusday-warrior

So, i looked at all the photos i have for this. But, then i thought why not just write something. (cuz, i am a visual person that's why)
I guess i could do one w.out a photo.

Warrior

Since i have been reading the book mentioned in the last post there have been a million thoughts going through my head. Some good, some not so good. I guess you have to feel it all to make headway-just a little bit hard to look at yourself this way.
I would say that in order to live authentically you have to become a warrior of sorts. There are going to be people blocking you and not accepting your changes. They may like that they can bully you, shame you, or reside with you in the misery. You will have to fight against yourself, which i know is not an easy battle.
If the plan is to move forward, fight the urge to stay the same and understand what you need and how to get it. It will take courage, and you will have to become a champion for your cause, these are the traits of a warrior.
Easy to talk about and hard to do. But, if we can releast that inner warrior the battle should be a little less scary.

ok- so i couldn't not add a picture.

in the yard

i have been reading this blog and Brene Brown's book, I thought it was just me.

Man is it perfect. I thought i knew a lot about shame and the hold it has on us, but this book is so amazing. It really isn't just me.

I do feel bad about some of the things i do in order to hide the shame or to shame others. This book is really helping to understand and then to become "shame resilient". A long way to go, but admitting you have a problem is the first step!!!! right?

Anyway, i highly recommend this book and her web site- ordinary courage I do not have the link set up sorry. I will try to remember how to do that tomorrow.

Thank you Brene!

the babysitter.
(everyone gets one free animal post-right?)

inspire me thursday-petals

yellow orange and bright
falling slowly like the rain

quiet petals land

She knew she was right

inspire me thursday- umbrella

"Let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit." -- Khalil Gibran

"Look as long as you can at the friend you love, no matter whether that friend is moving away from you or coming back toward you." -rumi

spring is in the air

Wednesday, April 15, 2009 – Take Heart
"It is easy to love people far away, very easy to think of the hungry
people in India. You must see first that there is love at home and at your
next-door neighbors and in the street you live in, in the town you live in
and only then outside."
~Mother Teresa of Calcutta

 

Spring are you coming?

 

even robins are wondering why it keeps snowing

 

i know i posted this photo before. But, i like it and these orchids actually just bloomed again after one year. So, i must be doing something right.
and i have not been a good blogger all winter. So here is my orchids to make up for it.

i love this one

"The map of abundance and joy has always existed. It has always been about the basics. Sometimes we just forget what the basics are." ~Earnie Larsen

More of the weather.

"the beach" really is there anymore to say about that!

So, winter is still hanging on-it is the time of year that you start thinking of all the great places you could be besides here.
There is still snow piled up, but it isn't the pretty, white, fluffy stuff you love-no, it is the hard, crusty, dirty snow piled up in driveways, on the side of the road and in parking lots.
It is the time of year when you need anti depressants, extra wine, a new family etc....
If we can just make it a couple of more weeks, it should be spring. One can only hope!!!!!!

PS - face book is a time sucker.

Who knew that not having a computer readily available would be so painful.
Can't catch up on news, blogs, facebook, etc.
Photos are not easily edited. yikes.....
We are still in the middle of winter storms here- i just keep thinking only two more months and maybe spring will appear.
I think i will have to re read The Reader- Wow, that sounds weird.
i loved that book, but it has been several years since i read it.
I know i loved it though.

so, i finally joined facebook- who knew??

it is really kind of fun-quick and easy way to see what is going on. Just one more thing i needed to add to all the other stuff i can't keep up with. Fun for now though.

I am adding a picture of my christmas card since i still have to get all the photos off the broken computer's hard drive.

The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live-

flora Whittmore